"...We would do well to slow down a little, proceed at the optimum speed for our circumstances, focus on the significant, lift up our eyes, and truly see the things that matter most. Let us be mindful of the foundational precepts our Heavenly Father has given to His children that will establish the basis of a rich and fruitful mortal life with promises of eternal happiness. They will teach us to do “all these things … in wisdom and order; for it is not requisite that [we] should run faster than [we have] strength. [But] it is expedient that [we] should be diligent, [and] thereby … win the prize.”
-President Deiter F. Uchtdorf
It's only Tuesday...
I'm sitting in bed and I have this feeling of I can't wait...but for what? Why would I be feeling anticipation for something that isn't there? I ask myself all the standard questions:
-Did I forget something?
-What's happening this weekend?
-What is happening at school this week?
-Did I plan everything I needed to for the week?
I mentally go through conversations and who I saw over the last few days and analyze what I did to make sure I don't need to call to apologize for something or clarify etc.
Oh good grief! Turn it off Dot!
I was in the grocery store the other day quickly passing the check outs to get where I needed to be and something occurred to me as I caught glimpses of headlines. These stories are all horrific, terrible or extremely happy news at the "peak" or "highs". For example princess Kate and her new baby, or a natural disaster and the climbing death toll or a suicide or overdose. I was uncomfortable...what about everything in between? What about the everyday victories and mistakes that we disregard because they don't fit into these two categories of "news worthy". I have often in conversation exchange the "how are you"? And "what's new or exciting in your life"? I have often responded by saying, "oh I have nothing to report, my life is boring right now". Or thinking to myself I wish I had something to talk about with people. I stand around listening in social gatherings wishing I had something to contribute and feel that I don't because whatever I say isn't funny or profound. I've even struggled to write regularly on this blog because I needed something that would change or affect people for it to be worthy of writing about. No one will read it if it doesn't mean anything. I guess people read stuff that doesn't matter all the time though huh?
In the last couple of days this thought has stayed with me and I have been paying particular attention to what I do each day. Yesterday instead of opting to do yoga alone, I went with my roommate to our complex to exercise. We talked! She was on the elliptical and I was attempting push-ups and stretching. We just talked. I missed her. It's amazing(as many of you know) how you can live with someone and never see them. I told her about my thoughts over the last few days and what some of my insights and goals were. She told me about what was happening at work as of late and other things that were happening for her. We communicated our everyday "stuff" and I was reminded why I was so lucky to be her roommate.
At work I was walking along the side wall and ran into the side of the whiteboard and tore my pants. It was in front of my students. It took me a minute to find the courage to look down and assess the damage and the level of embarrassment that would be appropriate for the situation. I think my initial gasp and horrified face were more severe than the tear, but it entertained the kids for a moment. I also noticed along the way during the day that my shirt was unraveling at the bottom. One of the kids pointed out that, "You have something on your butt!" Thank goodness for 7th graders or I would not know right from left;)
There is a kid at school who has already taken a liking to me and wants to talk with me all the time and get my input on what he's doing. Currently he is getting ready to run for Vice-President! He had me read his speech and I gave him a few pointers and told him I was glad he was doing it! In contrast I have a list of about 15 students who's parents I will be emailing and calling out of concern for what their child is doing, or not doing in class. Oh, and I still don't know how to use the electronic gradebook!
Saturday I started choir practice. At 7:30 in the morning! I don't get up for things at 7:30 in the morning on Saturdays but this I am making an exception for. I haven't sung in an organized group like this since high school and the opportunity just fell into my lap after singing in church one week. Some of the choir members said I should try out and that they would recommend me and just like that, now I have choir practice EVERY Saturday morning at 7:30 am for two whole hours!!! We've started practicing for our Christmas concerts. There was a brief moment while singing I had to stop. Everything went on as normal, however I was keenly aware of the sound, my surroundings and the miracle of my even being there. I got a little emotional and then the moment passed and I started singing again. This is one of those things that feels a bit... shall we say over my head! I am trying to sing alto, which historically I've strictly been a soprano. I want to learn more about reading music and improving my ear so I chose to do it this way. I tried really hard on Saturday to listen carefully to what was being played and to the people around me. Several times I caught myself singing tenor or with the sopranos. I loved it and giggled to myself much of the time.
My favorite people in the world are my family! Just a month ago several of us late one night were playing a game. I started laughing and for those who know me, when I am laughing HARD you can't hear anything or if there is sound its wheezing. I was laughing hard! I couldn't tell you the reason, I just wanted to. Well, my mother joined in because well she can. She was laughing at me, which made the situation more absurd which made me laugh even more! My mother and I had tears streaming down our faces. I am wheezing and my mom's laugh is in a word LOUD! I think screaming is occasionally involved. My family continued to play as if this was something to simply be ignored as it happens regularly, AND for no reason, and soooo it should be ignored.
I have a nephew who is not really prone to affection. He enjoys it just as much as the next person, he is just a little choosy. I was walking up to his door after taking he and his brother inside from the park. He got to the top of the stairs first and when I got there he turned around with a huge smile on his face like he had just discovered gravity or something! He walked over to me and without saying anything raised his arms, as children do, when they want to be picked up, so I did. He wrapped his arms around me and put his head on my shoulder and squeezed tight. This went on for several minutes. This coming from a kid who it was difficult to get a fist pump from when I would leave the house.
My nephews brother is somewhat of a dare-devil (okay that was understated) and just about a year ago his head was bigger than his body. He would often explore the house at a speed that he was unable to maintain and would run into walls and doors constantly. He would get back up with a smile on his face and go it again, like this time I am going to get it right! One time all I heard from the other room was a thud. You KNOW the sound. If you are at a bowling alley and someone drops their ball as opposed to rolling it??? Well it was my little man going the course again and he had landed on his head this time. I yelled from the other room, "Someone dropped their bowling ball!" My brother(nephews dad) laughed. Whenever we heard that sound we would say someone dropped their bowling ball...
The glory of ordinary days.
Those everyday moments that are ignored and diminished because I am thinking about what is going to happen tomorrow or the next day or 6 months from now. I could go on and on about the simplicity of moments that I wish would never end. You know the ones...the ones that make life feel as though you have acquired great wealth!
How often we throw away our "flecks of gold".
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