Intervention in Rough and Good Places

"Our most significant opportunities will be found in the times of greatest difficulty."

-Thomas S. Monson

In my quest for healing and in just trying to make it through each day, I have, over the last several years...weeks been questioning.  "Where is God in all this crap?  I am doing all I can and nothing seems to be changing."  A Few weeks ago I was preparing a lesson for church and I noticed my body and my mind become invigorated and found myself looking forward to the day ahead, when previous to my study I didn't even want to get out of bed. "What's the point?" I had been asking myself frequently.  After my lesson preparation I went on to my scripture study for the day.  As I was reading my mind was taken back to about two and half years ago when I felt that I should begin to do my scripture study in the morning instead of right before bed.

Two and a half years ago, I decided to move to Chicago to be with my family. This time was the beginning of the most challenging period of my life. My dad had recently been diagnosed with prostate cancer.  It was a "no brainer" for me to pick up and leave my home and job in Reno to be with my Mom and Dad.  I didn't want to miss anything(My Dad is well and he and my Mom are serving a mission in the Philippines).  I also was in a challenging job and just trying to figure out my next steps in life, and I was getting closed door after closed door, when I felt this impression to change my morning routine.  The results were immediate! Instead of skimming through, half awake at night, I was gaining information and feeling ready and more confident at the beginning of each day.

In the course of my morning....okay afternoon study, I began having a flood of thoughts, "What are my expectations with God?  Why did God not save me from abuse or other experiences that were so hurtful to my heart and my spirit?"  Then my mind took me to something I had read by Elder Neal A. Maxwell:

"Throughout scripture we encounter the need for us to remember that the Lord has His own timetable for unfolding things; it will not always accord with our schedules or wants.  When, in our extremities, we urgently call for a divine response, there may be, instead, a divine delay.  This is not because God, at the moment, is inattentive or loves us less than perfectly.  Rather, it is because we are being asked, at the moment, to endure more for the welfare of our souls.  The blessed meek understand that God loves them even when they may not be able to explain the meaning of what is happening to them or around them"(Meek and Lowly).

 "...I'm not sure we can always understand the implications of his{Christ}love, because his love will call us at times to do things we may wonder about, and we may be confronted with circumstances we would rather not face.  I believe with all my heart that because God loves us there are some particularized challenges that he will deliver to each of us.  He will customize the curriculum for each of us in order to teach us the things we most need to know.  He will set before us in life what we need, not always what we like.  And this will require us to accept with all our hearts...the truth that there is divine design in each of our lives...He knows what it is that he wishes to bring to pass in your life.  He knows the remodeling in your life and in mine that he wishes to achieve...One of the implications is that the tests we face are real.  They are not going to be things we can do with one hand tied behind our backs.  They are real enough that if we meet them we shall know that we have felt them, because we will feel them deeply and keenly and pervasively...If we were allowed to bypass certain trials, everything that had gone on up to that moment in our lives would be wiped out.  It is because he loves us that at times he will not intercede as we may wish him to"(But For A Small Moment).


My mind became a movie theater and I was watching trailer after trailer of experience after experience of miracle after miracle.  Of course God intervenes in my life!  He always has and he always will!  God does and has intervened in every way.  He has given me help and hope.  God knew how much changing a simple routine would help me from day to day, to just get up and to have hope that today would be a good day.  Interventions are always there!  Here are just a few that I've experienced recently:
I was turning into a neighborhood slowly because it was a sharp turn and a women was walking past with her dog.   She got a big grin on her face and waved at me as though I were her favorite neighbor!  "Amazing!  I feel like I matter to her and I don't even know her" I thought.  I was instantly uplifted.  She was an instrument in God's hands, demonstrating genuine kindness to a stranger and it brought happiness to my heart.

I have friends who accept my "crazy" and still love me and want to hang out with me.(Miraculous)

Easter Sunday all I wanted was sunshine. The forecast was for rain.  I prayed for sunshine, "its Easter! It should be beautiful, with sun and new life blossoming, please let there be sun!"  Sunday morning it was rainy.  After church I walked outside to sunshine and warmth.  Later that evening I went for a walk and my friend pointed out these beautiful purple flowers that were just starting to grow.

I was driving in my car the other day and decided to make an attempt at becoming more educated and informed so I turned my radio to NPR. This is what I heard:

"Can we really see the Universe in a grain of sand, even as we slog through traffic? Can we really hold infinity in our hands, even as we drop off the kids to violin practice?

The answer, I believe, is "yes." In fact I am sure of the answer is yes. The connection between the everyday reality we experience and boundless landscapes of cosmic beauty, inspiration and joy is actually so close, so present for us. It's there in the dust on your car, the mess on your desk and the swirling water in your sink.

How do I know this? Because I am a scientist dammit and I know that Science — under all its theories equations, experiments and data — is really trying to teach us to see the sacred in the mundane and the profound in the prosaic.

The trick is in the noticing and that happens by unpacking the question hidden in Blake's poem.
Can we really see the whole world in a grain of sand?
Through the lens of science we can see how even the smallest thing can be a gateway to an experience of the extraordinary, if only we can practice noticing.
We walk past a thousand, thousand natural miracles everyday, from the sun climbing in the sky to the arc of birds seen out our windows. Those miracles are there waiting for us to see them, to notice them and, most importantly, to find our delight in theirs.
You want some transcendence? I got it for ya. Let's start with that grain of sand."

- Adam Frank is a Professor of Astrophysics at the University of Rochester.

Not one of us is immune to suffering!  It happens to all of us.  One of the reasons why I wanted to start this blog was hopefully to connect to others, who are just like me.  We feel lost, we wonder what the point is and how are we supposed to get through it?!  It is a maddening process at times and these last few months have brought me to breaking point...AND I am glad it did!  I needed it.  I needed to change, I needed to forgive myself and forgive others.  My heart has been so cold and so hard for far too long.
I feel that I am transitioning into a new "phase" of my life and that it will look different than it ever has before.  I am different than I ever have been before.  If I had not been broken I would've continued on the same discouraging and lonely road.
I know that Jesus Christ my Savior has healed me from pain, despair, guilt, hate, and anger from my abusive past.  Now my path ahead is clear, and I feel free and open to actually be a real participant in life.  I will still have challenges, those will always come and go...thats just life.  But I know now, better than I have before and I see more clearly than before God's hand in all things.  I know He loves me and I know He loves you.  All we need to do is look for it, BELIEVE him, that He is there and is always providing love, guidance, support and encouragement.  We are His children and His greatest desire is for us to be able to come home!  Let us always look for the divine in the mundane.  After all, He is our Creator and has blest us with ALL that we have and ALL that we are.  So lets NOTICE it!  NOTICE HIM!!!! and be glad for the journey that is meant for happiness and to change us for the better.